Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Parke and Bretton...

Before Bretton's birth, I talked a little bit about how emotional our whole adoption situation had been for me. I shared with you how torn I felt to be adopting another baby boy and feeling the burden of "replacing" Parke. My anxiety towards loving another sweet baby was put to rest the moment I met Bretton and felt like our family was so complete. All four of our beautiful babies light up my life and fill my heart with joy.
Since Bretton has been with us, I haven't talked much about how I have been feeling. It has continued to be emotional. It's been great, Bretton is the sweetest baby, and I could not love him any more than I do. However, I've thought about Parke often...especially as these weeks have passed so quickly. I have not kept up with Bretton's age very closely, and I actually had to ask my mom last week if he was 6 weeks old yet for me to take him to our church nursery while I taught Awanas. I wasn't counting because I really didn't want to know.
I woke up yesterday morning, and I felt the need to figure up how old he count the days. After that, I got on Facebook and saw more than one person post about October 15th being Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day...I googled it to make sure it was real because I couldn't believe what God had done for me.
Yesterday, Bretton was 50 days old. Parke lived to 49 days, and on Bretton's 50th day of life, it was a day nationally dedicated to remembering babies we have lost. How crazy is that?
I had trouble holding back tears and just thanked God once again for his perfect timing.
I haven't been brave enough to compare pictures of the boys yet. People have asked if they look alike, and I always say no...because to me, they don't. When I finally pulled up pictures and looked at them, they look NOTHING alike even though they are blood relatives. Looking back through Parke's pictures makes my heart ACHE, but I'm so thankful for all the memories and photos we have of our sweet little man.
Parke is on the left, Bretton is on the right...
Their coloring is totally different, eyes are different, hair is different.

 It's so strange to see them next to each other because I really thought they looked more alike than this...wild!
I love them both so much. I am amazed at the peace God gives my heart and the precious moments he provides for me to tell Parke's story.

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