Thursday, April 25, 2013

Adoption...

We've had a lot of people ask about what's next for our family. Some people have seemed hesitant to "go there" in conversation, and others have been very direct....either way, we know people are wondering. The truth is, we're not sure where our family is headed at this point. Micah and I agree that we want to adopt again, but we aren't sure when God will decide the right time is. 

Parke was a beautiful addition to our family, and the timing couldn't have been better on starting the process, being matched, and his birth. Everything was quick, and we saw God's hand all over the entire situation. 
We knew without a doubt that we were being led to act in those moments, and we see now exactly why we were so motivated....because he was meant to be a Gibson!

As of today, we are not feeling the urgency to pursue another adoption. We are still grieving the loss of precious Parke, and I know that won't stop as our family continues to grow. He will always be our #3, our precious miracle, and the sweetest gift. We are open to adding to our family when the time is right, and we know that we will be at peace when God shows us who our next child is. We've received a few phone calls already with possible babies, but we knew almost instantly that the situations weren't right for us. 

On top of that, Micah and I both feel strongly that our next child might not be a newborn. We are definitely open to that being the case, and if we received a phone call tonight with a 1 year old needing a home, I am pretty confident we would be adding another child immediately. We are just open and waiting for whatever comes. I know that sounds crazy to receive a random phone call, but we have heard of things like that happening. We didn't imagine that things would happen the way they did with Parke, and we know that God hand-delivered him to us....we are confident any additional children added to our family will happen in a similar way. 

 I guess the best thing to say is that I pray we are able to adopt again one day. I do pray that God will bless us and choose us to parent more children through adoption. I can't tell you the joy that filled my heart when I heard Parke cry for the first time. I had no feelings that he wasn't "mine" or that I wasn't his mommy...even with the birth mother in the same room. Parenting is more than genetics, family is more than blood, and Parke reassured me that unconditional love can come quickly and last forever. He confirmed a lot of what was on my heart, squashed any fears I had, and changed a lot of people's views of adoption in his short time here.  

I'm just being honest, I don't think I looked this proud even after delivering Landry and Collier. Getting the "mommy band" put on my arm at the hospital was seriously one of the best moments ever. 

And Micah looked into our little man's eyes and just melted immediately. Even after seeing ultrasound pictures, Micah was in love with Parke. It took Landry and Collier actually being born for him to "bond" with them, but with Parke had him wrapped around his tiny fingers before they even met. 

So, I guess to answer everyone's question....yes. Yes, I believe we will adopt again. It has been one of the greatest blessings and life-changers in all of our lives (Landry and Collier included) and our marriage. 
And more answers...

Yes, if you know of someone looking for a family to adopt a child, you can contact us. 

Yes, we are open to adopting a baby or an older child. 

Yes, we are open to a sibling group.

Yes, we are willing to have an open adoption (level of "open" depends on the situation). 

Yes, we still want our children close together. BUT, we are not willing to pursue getting another baby just to have our kids close in age. It will have to be "our" baby/child, and we know we will have a peace when that happens. 

And finally, YES, we are considering fostering/adopting through DHS at some point. This had not been a viable option for our family when we checked into it before because of the ages of our children, required court appearances, and water issues at our home (we are on a well). However, as the kids grow, this will become more realistic for our family. Honestly, if we would have known everything we were going to go through with Parke, we would have never thought we could have done it. It's amazing how you just DO when you are in the midst of something, and you are able to DO far more than you expected. 


So, there it is. We are content where we are, and staying open to what God has in store for us. Landry talks about her 2 brothers constantly, and Collier goes crazy when he sees pictures of his baby. They miss Parke greatly. He will never, ever, ever, ever be replaced in our family....whether we add more children or not. I am still so thankful for the opportunity God gave us to parent Parke. I am able to look at things a little differently through the eyes of losing a child...things that Landry and Collier do "wrong" are not so bad, and they get squeezed tighter than ever before. I hope that through our experience with Parke, we will be better parents to any children who enter our home. 

1 comment:

  1. “Parenting is more than genetics, family is more than blood.” - You're absolutely right. I've known a lot of people who cares and love children as more than as if they are their own. They are great person like you, Lindsey. I feel sorry for what happened to Park; he can't and shouldn't be replaced whether you decide to adopt or not.


    Ferdinand Draper

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